Thanks for the support - An update

Thank you for all your support. It means so much. Things had been moving along very well with this pregnancy. We've had 15 ultrasounds in 6 months. A month ago we found out we were having a girl. I started shopping. We ordered baby furniture. My shower was booked for May 27th. I took the advice of all my friends and family who encouraged us to embrace this pregnancy. Last weekend I woke up at 3 am and could hardly get out of bed. The back pain was awful. Danny happened to be away that night so I struggled my body into some clothes and drove myself to the hospital (which later I realized was stupid when I have wonderful neighbours all around me). After 6 hours in early labour and assessment they released me with a diagnosis of a kidney infection. I took Monday and Tuesday off work. My back pain diminished to what felt like a stitch in my side. With the thoughts of going back to work in mind I wanted to be looked at before I went back. I called the nurse on tuesday and she encouraged me that all was well from my assessment on saturday. I pushed a bit more and she said to go back to early labour and delivery. So I did and my follow up went well. I was released. Texted hubby to tell him to start supper. While waiting for the elevator the doctor said she would like to look at my cervix again. In a matter of half a hour i was being admitted with a shortend cervix. In the last week I have heard so many terms, met the nicu team and have so many stats on so many things. My cervix measured 1cm last week. It should be 4cm. I am on progesterone 4 times a day to stop preterm labour with a round of steriod treatment to mature her lungs quicker. I can shower every other day and am only to get up to use the washroom. Danny has been swamped at work so he hasnt been here all that much. I am very scared. A resident came in the other day to inform us that she is breech and a c section at this stage can be very dangerous for both me and baby. They will do another ultrasound tomorrow to see if there has been any change in my cervix. I am focusing on staying calm and trying my hardest to only focus on today. Thanks again for all your support. Please pray for us and I will let you know how it goes tomorrow.

On bed rest till delivery

The last week has been insane and i will post more later. On the weekend i was diagnosed with a kidney infection. After taking two days off to heal i went back to the doctors on tuesday for a follow up visit. The found that i have a shortened cervix. My cervix is where someone should be at 37 weeks. I am 24. I am now admitted to hospital, on strict bed rest (cant even stand up to shower) and have been showered with information on preterm labour. Doctors think the farthest i will make it is 30 weeks. There giving us a 50/50 chance of survival if she is born his week. I am overwhelmed and totally shocked. When i get my lap top i will post a longer version. Does anyone have any experience with a short cervix or incompetent cervix?

22 Week update

I’ve been away for awhile. Not for any particular reason. I guess there has really been nothing to update you all on.

We are 22 weeks pregnant right now. All is well. Our 20 week ultrasound confirmed a healthy and rather large baby girl growing inside me. We were thrilled to hear this wonderful news. I started feeling movement at 17 weeks.

There is a lot of guilt related to the inability to embrace this pregnancy. I was twenty weeks before I bought her an outfit. One lousy sundress. The fear of losing this baby overshadows everything. We decided to find out the sex of the baby in order to help us embrace this pregnancy. I thought once I felt movement it would help me to embrace this pregnancy. But in reality it hasn’t helped at all. It has put a label on the baby as we refer to “it” as “her” now. But I don’t feel any closer to believing that this has happened. Is it fair to this precious miracle that I have spent the last 5 months shaking my head in amazement but also being anxiously cautious with all actions that pertain to her little life. That I have spent the last five months waiting for the shoe to fall. Waiting to hear this is the day we have lost the dream again.

I’m trying.

My baby shower is next month and I went to Babies R Us and registered on the weekend. I almost started crying when the sales rep walked me up to the desk to take my information. I wanted to say to her that I couldn’t believe I was even in this store, that I had no idea what to put on my registry as I was so scared of losing my baby. Instead I smiled and she asked if this was our first baby and I cheerfully said yes.

I asked to have my hours cut back at work. Getting up off the floor has proven to become a bit of a challenge. I’m regularly on the floor with the students playing, teaching and all the other fun stuff that comes along with being a teacher of four year olds. We are also responsible for the cleaning of our own classroom. They denied my request. I was disappointed and still am. Danny would like me to leave work now all together. As appealing as that sounds those students have become attached to me as I have to them. Leaving them now with only three months left of the school year seems so unfinished. I will stick it out until I have had enough.

Doctors visit today confirmed a weight gain of 25 lbs.. Is this a lot for 22 weeks? My neighbor said she put on 40 pounds. I was kinda striving for somewhere around there. My doctor does not seem to concerned about my weight gain so I haven’t been worried about it at all.

Anyways, wanted to check in and say things are good and we are still getting a clean bill of health for both myself and our little bean. I will do my best to keep you posted a bit better throughout the coming weeks.