Amazing Vacation!

We made it back from a maddening but absolutely amazing vacation! Iceland is a vacation to put on your bucket list. We saw mountains, volcanos, glaciers, icebergs, black sand beaches, lava fields and so much more. I learned a lot from this vacation with so many different geological phenomena’s that have taken place there. The beauty is indescribable.
I didn’t think of baby. Not once. Instead I focused on trying to burn these beautiful images into my brain. I didn’t want to miss anything. Danny and I were foolish and spontaneous again. He was stress free and I could see him again….the barrier was down.
Here a just a few of the 700 photos we took.

Being back now for a few days has brought back reality. Our good friend who happened to pick us up at the airport announced her pregnancy on the way home. The uncomfortable smile and hug with words of congratulations were shared. But I knew she seen it in my eyes…..as she left she turned and said to Danny and I while we stood in the kitchen hugging….”this is a good thing guys”. Pretty sure from that comment she didn’t see gushing, happy hugs from Danny and I. I hate feeling this way. I hate the jealousy and the feeling of having no control over these emotions. I want to embrace it with her and share in her happiness. Instead I feel like distancing myself from her. Cutting the ties in a sense until I feel comfortable with it all. So that night instead of lying in my own bed thinking of what a fabulous trip we had I laid in Danny’s arms crying. Crying yet again for my own losses, feeling sorry for myself again and dealing with those racing questions of why us…..Urgg…